even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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