your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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