If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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