Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
