that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
