if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
