If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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