you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
