I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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