You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
