Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
