this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
