drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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