So drunk its hurt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize