be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no you cant smoke seaweed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
