My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
