I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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