Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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