Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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