Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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