I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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