i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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