A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
