I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
