what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
