Whod you bang
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
