after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
