who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am mentally ready for anal.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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