I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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