I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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