i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
