what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
