ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
