Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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