Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
