this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
