I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so let's talk penis.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
