I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
