it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There r osticjed everywhere
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
