Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
