Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
