if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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