I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
