I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
