your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
