At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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