Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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