Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize