just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
false alarm, still single
Randomize
