i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
