P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize