i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
