the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
