Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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