WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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