where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
