Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sobbing to NWA
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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