my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
