Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
