yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
