Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
